LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!

Our next few shows are

OCTOBER 12th

and 

NOVEMBER29th

facebook.com/thesepirates

Hahaha

I wear a white sox hat because my girlfriend bought it for me for my birthday. She bought it for me cuz I asked for it. I asked for it because I’m a sox fan. I don’t wear it ironically. I just like the sox.
Most people think I dress ironically.
I know it seams that way, but
I dont do it on purpose it’s just that I worked in a thrift store five years ago and only stole three years worth of clothes. So these are starting to get old.
Sometimes my friends find out I like sports. They always say the same
Thing, “you like sports? That’s funny.”. I always wanna say, “yeah we’ll I think it’s funny that you like dicks in your mouth, but I dont say anything. Cuz it’s homophobic. I think my friends are heterophobic.
Heterophobic is not a word. When I type it in a squiggly line underlines it. Homophobic is clearly in the iPhone’s dictionary. So many people have to have that one on hand. Just in case. Just in case someone really starts sweating and screaming and throwing a fit hyperventilating because there’s a rainbow. Oh it’s
Just cuz he’s a homophobe. Don’t worry about him he’ll be okay.
That would happen too. Cuz rainbows mean gay now. Used to be you were an indecisive little boy who would probably grow up to be a clown and would want some rainbow socks. Not allowed anymore. Rainbows are a clear statement of support for homosexuality. Then people ask, ” so what? Is it wrong to support homosexuality?” no I don’t think so,
But I’m not a bra. I’m having a difficult enough time walking around my own friends as a closeted sports fan.